1 You have a thought, then the emotion follows. So your thinking determines your emotion and not the other way around. This happens very quickly and often you are not even aware of this thought.
2 Your thoughts often have their origins in your previous experience. Your thoughts, as it were, look through the glasses of your experiences. They are colored by your childhood, certain events, traumas, by something that was once said to you or said to you repeatedly.
3 Not everything you think is the truth. Thoughts come from different sources: from yourself, from other people, from God and from satan. Social media, entertainment, books, studies, etc. can also influence your thoughts, but that does not mean they are true.
4 Sometimes thoughts become a conviction. The more often you have a certain thought, the more you believe it to be true. If this thought is not based on truth, but on a lie, it can hinder you in your life.
5 The Bible says: “be transformed by the renewing of your mind." This means that you convert your old beliefs, unhelpful thoughts or your negative thoughts, into real and truthful thoughts.
6 Positive thinking doesn't always work. If a negative thought has now become a conviction, then this belief will undermine your positive thought. This does not solve the root cause and the negative thought continues to exist.
7 It is not easy to renew your thinking. A path that has often been walked, a thought that has often been made, is easier to walk than a new path that still needs to be made. Your brain works the same way. To change your thoughts you will have to make an effort, and this new thought will have to be trained.
Now that you know this, it is not surprising that you have not yet managed to change your emotions and thoughts. Sometimes you need some help for that. You cannot change your past and experiences. But you can decide how you deal with it.
Are you going to take responsibility for your thoughts? God commands us to renew our minds in God's way.
Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
A therapist can help you become aware of your unconscious thoughts. We can then look for the cause and apply trauma processing where necessary. Help you to renew your thoughts, into thoughts based on truth. You will receive tools to integrate these into your life.
The result
You have become aware of your thoughts, emotions and behaviour. Trauma processing creates a feeling of liberation and emotions will be experienced much less intensely. Old patterns can be released. Your renewed thoughts lead you to inner peace.
Inner peace is a state of being at peace mentally and spiritually regardless of your circumstances.
Why is it good to process the trauma experience?
If you do not process a trauma, your complaints will continue. It can even get worse and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can develop.
You can recognize an unresolved trauma by your complaints, such as not being able to control your emotions, mood swings, low self-esteem, not finding peace in your head, concentration problems, depression, suicidal thoughts, anger, rage outbursts, anxiety, compulsive behaviour, difficulty dealing with stressful situations, being easily overwhelmed and crying fits.
When do we talk about trauma?
Simply put, you have one intense experience and you cannot act on this. Your brain is working overtime, but you are unable to process all the impressions and emotions. When complaints arise, we speak of a psychotrauma.
The reason you experience trauma is very personal. For example, a divorce can be experienced by someone as a traumatic event. But that does not apply to everyone who experiences a divorce.
Things get even more complicated when you experience a traumatic experience as a child. This may include a divorce, domestic violence, death of a parent at a young age, abuse, a narcissistic parent, affective neglect that you were unable to process at that time, because you simply lacked the the knowledge or the tools and did not have access to the help needed to get some perspective and to process it in the right way. You go in a survival mode and find a way to continue. We call that a survival strategy, also called coping. This coping protects you and allows you to continue in life. Coping is very helpful at that moment. But that coping is linked to a “childish or wrong” thought, belief and behavior. You will take this with you into your adult life. However, as an adult, this mechanism and the associated belief can really get in your way.
Insight provides the opportunity to let go of your coping and the associated emotions and creates space to think differently.
Psalm 34:18: 'The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.’
What does the Bible mean by renewing your mind?
Your environment shapes your thinking!
We live in a fallen world. War, corruption, murder, oppression, deception and natural disasters are all over the news. The world has its own vision on love, success and identity, among other things. Love and relationship are shown in films as an emotional climax with fiery passion. Success in the world is when someone has achieved wealth, power and prestige, regardless of how this is achieved. Your identity depends on origins, status, intelligence, education, job, skin colour, appearance and how many likes you get on social media.
In our culture, the adoption of these views happens very subtly, through TV shows, books, music and social media. Oftentimes, it is said ‘oh, it's just a show or a movie’, but it still shapes your thinking and therefore our behaviour. It can lead to anxiety, dissatisfaction in love, disappointment, depression, delusions of grandeur or feelings of inferiority, despair, anger and worry.
Paul says in Romans 12.2: ‘And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.’
Spiritual growth starts with renewing your thinking.
When you are baptized, your sins are forgiven and you have received the Holy Spirit. By God's grace you have been redeemed through the suffering and death on the cross of Jesus Christ, you have become a new-born Christian. Until now, God has made the way for you to eternal life. Now it's your turn to grow further. We are called to renew our thinking.
An example of renewing your thinking is if we look at the previously mentioned topics: love, success and identity, and filter them through the lens of God's words. Love and relationships are then a commitment, a loving covenant in which both make an effort to maintain a loving relationship. Success is living a righteous life. Your identity is to be a child of God, to have a father-child relationship with him and to live under his blessings. When we change our thinking into His thinking, then we will grow spiritually and experience more peace and tranquillity in our lives, because as our thinking is, so is our behaviour. If you want to see change in your life, start by changing your thinking.
Renewing your thinking is not as easy as it seems. It does not happen automatically, you have to make an effort. However, the need is great, because... If you don't actively change your thinking, your thinking will be passively shaped by the world we live in. It is a process in which you make the choice. Your will determines whether you make that transformation and want to grow spiritually. If yes, then God will definitely help you.
How do you know if you still think worldly?
Simply put, you keep asking yourself:
- Is this thought in line with God's promises for my life or not?
- Do I want to receive appreciation from people? Or from God?
- Do I condone certain habits or sins because everyone else does them? Or do I turn away from it?
- Do I get my pleasure only from worldly things? Or also time with God?
- Do I hesitate to proclaim God's truth? Or do I proclaim without hesitation?
- Am I guided by emotions and feelings? Or through God's word?
- Am I reacting out of fear? Or faith?
- What is your first reaction to problems? Stress, fear, panic, complaining or do you trust God?
- Do negative thoughts determine your day? Or do you feel the peace of God through His word?
You probably still have work to do in some areas. When your thoughts are renewed and aligned with God's word, you will know what plans God has for you. It will change your view of God because now you know His will.
Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Instead of listening to your feelings or being guided by your emotions, now ask, what does God want me to do? You no longer rely on your own ability for the solution, but you ask God for the solution.
Philippians 4:6,7: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
Your thinking has shifted from being self-centred to being God-centred. You are able to choose inner peace, tranquillity and happiness.